Sunday, December 28, 2008

Reformed Gym Rat No More

I’ve been somewhat MIA lately.

Nope, I haven’t been running. Not since the Jingle Bell Run.

I haven’t been working out much to speak of either.

First, the good. We had a fantastic Christmas. As always, I spent far too much on the kids, but they each got exactly what they wanted. My daughter got a touch-screen computer (and I inherited her year old laptop), Rock Band for Wii (the whole set), and some other various games, clothes, and a book from the fam and money from my parents.

My son got a new guitar and amp, a digital camcorder, a subscription to Xbox Live and the wireless adaptor for his Xbox to allow him to go online (we only have wireless internet at home), plus lots of band t-shirts from my fam and money from my parents.

I got some cool stuff, too from my fam. Some Pampered Chef stuff from my sis, Coca-Cola memorabilia from my bro and fam, a blender, talking Hoops and Yoyo calendar, and money from my parents (which bought me a Tomtom that I really wanted!).

Next the bad. I had an entire week off work and did absolutely nothing constructive with it. My big plan was to get my sleeping back on track and get back into the groove with running and lifting. I wound up staying up until 2 or 3 am every night, sleeping until 9 or 10am, then lounging around in sweats (or shorts) all day. The worst part, there were 3 days where the weather was so warm that I had the windows open in the house (65-70 degrees). Did I take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather? NOPE! I spent my time lounging about the house and eating junk food. Christmas was the worst. It was like I couldn’t stop myself.

And the ugly. I stepped on the scale on Christmas morning (I couldn’t help myself). It was bad. I stepped on the scale on Dec 26. It was 6 lbs higher. The day after Christmas, I weighed the same as I weighed the day that I brought my son home from the hospital 14+ years ago. I was mortified back then to be that huge. Bear in mind that I gained 50 lbs with each of my kids, they are only 12.5 months apart, so I didn’t lose all of the weight from #1 before getting pg with #2. I have never weighed this much before or since then… until now.

What to do about it? There’s not a lot I can do quickly at this point. I have gotten beyond the point where a few weeks is going to get me back to my fighting weight. This is going to take some serious work. And, the fact that I’m embarassed to go out in public makes it that much harder. I have a 5K scheduled for Sat, Jan 3 that I suppose I will run. I don’t want to, but that fact tells me that I definitely need to. I am going to work on putting together some short term and long term goals this week that will help me to get back to normal. I’m usually not much of a New Year’s Resolution type of person, but 2009 may be the year that I make some.

I have been doing a lot of reading this week, and one thing I read was in one of Jillian Michaels’ books. It said: “As you envision the changes in your future, you must begin to let go of your past… Forget about fat periods or skinny periods in your life.” A lot of my problems this year stem from the fact that I have never had a “real” problem with my weight. Before this year, I have never been “technically” overweight. I think I have let that fact affect me more than it should. I am so obsessed by it. I find myself talking about the “good old days” far too often. You know, the days when I spent half my free time at the gym, and had the body to show for it. That is not the case any more, and I need to get a handle on the present, and start looking toward the future.

OK. Enough about all that. Stay tuned, my goals for 2009 will be coming soon, and whatever goals I wind up with will be tracked through shorter-term goals.


RunToFinish said...

I think for me it was about learning to just make one change at a time and then when that was just part of my life, I started with the next change...much easier to do than a major overhaul, at least for me.

LOOOOOVING our Guitar Hero it's a great thing to do as a group and just laugh.

Tammy said...

Yeah, I think you're right. I tend to want all or nothing. Then one mis-step and I feel like a total failure.

We had the original Guitar Hero games for the XBox (guitar only), but I much prefer the drum to the guitar!

Girl on Top said...

Can I be your adopted daughter?!!! JK.

Stay strong hon! It's all a work in progress. Every little bit counts. Can't wait to hear your resolutions!

Al's CL Reviews said...

I am only focusing on one week at a time in terms of food.

52 weeks is daunting in my eyes!

AKA Alice said...

I love Guitar Hero (like Rock Band) for Wii...but I'm not much of a drummer...I'm much better on the guitar...

I couldn't help myself either and weighed myself two days after Xmas...AHHHHHH! Such are the holidays.

RooBabs said...

I remember reading that Jillian bit, and I have the same problem. Only one other time in my life have I had a weight problem- I was always the skinny girl- so it kills me not to be that skinny girl anymore. It's like part of my identity is gone. I feel your pain.

I guess we need to focus on the present, and what we can do to have a better future, and just take it one step at a time. Good luck- we're all pulling for you!!

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