Thursday, January 31, 2008

More Motivation

This week, one of the other managers brought in pictures from our company Christmas party. I had NO IDEA how fat I had let myself get. I can totally see it in my face. Everybody else says they can't see it - LIARS!! Luckily, I don't have the picture electronically, so I can't post it here.

What I do have is last year's picture from the Half Marathon that I'm running next weekend. A year ago, I was 20-25 pounds lighter than I am now. I thought I was fat.

Keep in mind, it was 20 degrees at that race and I am wearing multiple layers in this picture- and STILL looked thinner than I do now!

I'd say it's all in my head if my clothes weren't 2 sizes larger.
OK. Enough beating myself up.
I'm running again! I really am feeling a lot better about myself since I've started running consistently again. I can't wait until the scale starts to show it... At this Summer's races, I'm going to look HAWT!

Monday, January 28, 2008

9 Miles of Reflection

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've been here!

I've been so hit-and-miss lately. I'm finally trying to get back on track- in my running, in eating healthy, in getting through all of the piles of paperwork at work and at home. And, don't even get me started on changing my name. UGH! What a hassle!
But, a hassle that is well worth it! No more!!
(In case you missed it, the divorce was final on Wednesday).

Saturday morning, I went out on a nice long 9 mile run. This was the longest run for me in a while. I wasn't running for time, just getting in the miles. The weather was fantastic, and I felt really great. This helped me in my reflection of why I've done what I've done to myself. I can't believe that I've gained roughly 25 pounds since this time last year. I have noone to blame for this but myself. I have gotten so lazy in everything! I don't want to drag my lazyass out of bed, so I don't get up and run. I don't feel like going out when the weather isn't absolutely perfect, so I don't go out and run. I don't enjoy running on the treadmill, so I don't run on the treadmill.
And the fact is, I'm only miserable when I DON'T run. I just convince myself otherwise.

No more!
And, you can hold me to that.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Back on the wagon, again

This seems to be quite a theme in my life. I do really well for a while, then I get all lazy and let myself go to hell for a while. Get fed up with that, and back at it again.

This week, I decided ENOUGH! I drug the treadmill from my bedroom into the front room so I could run while watching tv, and not feel like I'm being banished to my room. It was becoming abundantly clear that I was NOT going to drag my ass out of bed at 5am and run when it is dark outside at the beginning and end of the run! It's dark when I go to work, and dark when I get home. So depressing! So, I'm back to running in the evenings. I'll reward myself with a nice long run outside on the weekend.

So, I drag my treadmill into the front room and hop on. It starts acting crazy and feels like it's stopping every time I step. UGH! That was Tuesday night. Yesterday, my parents, wonderful fix-it's that they are, came to my house and took it apart and got it fixed! Woohoo! I'm back on track again! Last night, I ran 4 miles on it, at a 10 min/mile pace.

I've got a long way to go... and a half marathon on tap for next month.
Ah well, this is what makes life interesting.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Goals for 2008- better late than never

Here I go...
I really tried to get by without putting any goals for this year into writing. I know that when I'm avoiding something, a lot of times that is the one thing I need to do. I think that is the case with putting my 2008 goals into writing. So here they are- First the goals, then the plan for attaining them.

Goals for 2008:

1- Run at least 1,000 miles. This is roughly 20 miles/week.

2- Lose these 25 lbs and KEEP THEM OFF.

3- Lift weights at least twice/week.

4- Don't get involved with some losery guy.

5- Keep my house clean and clutter free.

The Plan:

1- There is absolutely no reason why I can't run 1,000 miles in a year. 2007 was the first year in a long time I didn't achieve that goal. I'll attribute that to stress and move on.

2- Losing them last year wasn't a problem, it was the keeping them off part that got me. I'm going to stay committed to eating real food and not becoming complacent as I lose the weight.

3- Twice a week? That is a completely attainable goal! I should be able to lift at least one day after work and at least one day on the weekend.

4- I have proven to myself time and time again that I have no clue when it comes to choosing a worthy man. I think maybe I'm destined to be single. At least for 2008.

5- I had toyed with the idea of hiring someone to clean my house once or twice a week- you know, the vacuuming, mopping, dusting, and cleaning the bathrooms. But, I was thinking this week- WHY would I pay some stranger to come in and do these things when I have teenagers at home? So, I shall bribe the kids with money. If that doesn't work, I'll hire somebody. The clutter will be on me to keep under control!

All of these are goals that should be very easily attainable, but I didn't manage to accomplish them in 2007. I'm going to chalk 2007 up to stress and get on with it!

Wish me luck!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Snowman Shuffle 08

Saturday morning. Ugh! I had such a busy weekend planned, Chris had two wrestling tournaments over the weekend- all afternoon Saturday and all day Sunday. Plus, I promised Alex that I would take her and her friend to the movies Saturday night.

When my alarm went off Saturday morning, I just wanted to stay in bed. Not to mention that I've gained 30 pounds over the past 6 months or so and didn't want to be seen. Yes, 30 pounds. I'm finally owning it. I had talked to a couple of people the day before the race and confirmed that I would be there. Although, when I woke up Saturday morning, I came sooo close to making some calls and backing out. But, I don't want to be THAT person. You know the one, always saying they'll meet you somewhere but never showing up.

So, I got up, got the kids up, and off we went to the race. We had to go straight from the race to the wrestling tournament. I didn't feel bad throughout the race, except that my pace was lower than ever, and my heart rate was higher than normal. I ran my slowest 5K time ever: 29:22. Yes, I'm owning that too. I'm glad I went, the race had a good turnout with a lot of the local running group there.

The kids and I had to leave before the results, and I was sure I wouldn't place anyway. Last year, I ran it in just under 27 minutes and got 3rd place. Later that afternoon, and two wrestling match losses later, I found out that I won 1st place in my age group! Woohoo! I needed that little boost after all the garbage I've been dealing with lately.

And, then, for the icing on the cake... Chris won his first wrestling match on Sunday! Woohoo! This is his first year, and many of the boys have been wrestling since Kindergarten (he's 13), so it's fantastic that he was finally able to get a win!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Happy New Year!!

I have NOT vanished from the face of the earth... just been wrapped up in doing a lot of nothing while I've been off work! Seriously- there is no way possible that I could have accomplished less in a week and a half being off work. I'm actually kinda glad to be back at work, just to motivate myself to get up off the couch!!

I did manage to run a couple of days last week, and walk a couple of days with my friend Connie (lucky for me, she drug me out of the house!). I got 22 miles walking and running last week! That's a lot considering I got 0 miles the week before.

Yet another 5K this Saturday. Thankfully, it's gonna be warmer than the 8 degrees it was this morning. And, I'm gonna tentatively put the St Louis Marathon on my schedule. Connie said she would drive over with me if I wanted to run that one. I had been wanting to do a Spring marathon, so that will work out nicely.