Commitment...

From Merriam Webster's Learner's dictionary:

1: a promise to do or give something 2: a promise to be loyal to someone or something 3: the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something

Despite the fact that every man I date wants to make a big commitment to me for some strange reason (perhaps because they need me to support them but that's a different story for another day), I have a big problem with it.

Big

Huge

Take, for instance, the fact that I signed up for 2 marathons this Spring (one which takes place next weekend). Big commitment, right?

It should have been, yes.

The problem: I didn't do the training. Same as when I signed up for Chicago last October, no training. (The difference is that I will NOT be running a marathon next weekend with no training.)

So, even though I paid the money and signed up (commitment), I refused to do what was needed to keep up my side of the bargain. I made no commitment to my goal. In fact, I probably did LESS running than I would have done if I hadn't imposed a big deadline on myself. It was like I had a monkey on my back, but I couldn't force myself to do something about it.

The weekend following Marathon #1, I have committed to run a relay. Ugh. (I will be running the relay, I can't let my team down)

So, here's my plan for the next month or so:

1. 1- I will go to Marathon #1, I will support my friends and cheer for them (and possibly switch to the Half Marathon, if that is allowed).
2. I will run the relay, it's only ~10 miles per person, broken up into 3 sections, I can do that. I will enjoy the day with 7 of my friends.
3. I will play Marathon #2 by ear...

Beyond that, I plan to stop making these commitments until I can get a handle on my schedule and start running for myself without a looming deadline.